My Awful Brother
by SilverGrrl
Summary: Sirius and Regulus have a bet to see who can bed a list of seven girls first, but when it comes down to the last girl things get ugly. Created for The Character One Hour Challenge of the HPFC forum.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: created for the Character One Hour Challenge of the HPFC forum: Regulus Black, My Awful Brother, syrup prank**

A cocky grin spreads all over Regulus Black's face as he rushes into the great hall, "Oh Sirius, guess who's winning our bet!"

"You didn't bed Pandora?" a look of amazement and doubt crosses Sirius's face, marring his usually perfect features.

"Not yet, but she's meeting me in the abandoned classroom on the 3rd floor. It's as good as done bro, hand over the galleons."

"Oh, it's not over yet. No one can resist this," he stands and motions to his body flashing a wink at a nearby Hufflepuff, causing her to drop her spoon and splattering oatmeal all over her face.

Reg walks away confidently, eagerly awaiting his night with the last girl on the list he and Sirius had concocted for their bet. Regulus already had 6 purebloods. The last conquest on their list was Pandora Brown, complete with flowing blonde locks and a body built to kill. For Sirius, who so far only had 5, it was the untouchable Orchid Bullstrode, a girl with a gorgeous face and irresistible eyes and Pandora Brown. But Pandora refused to sleep with anyone; not many pureblood girls in Slytherin would.

Regulus skips breakfast and heads straight for the abandoned classroom. Pulling out his wand he conjures a few candles, unlit of course, cleans the room magically, and perfumes it with the irresistible scent of cinnamon.

By the time he's done he has to run down to the dungeons for potions, arriving in the nick of time and avoiding the questions Slughorn would inevitably ask. He hurriedly finishes his potion, messing it up in the process, hoping to speed up class and get to his date. Once the potion's finished he's forced to sit there for eternity as other students finish. Time ticks by so slowly he's sure the clocks are malfunctioning.

When class finally gets out he rushes upstairs to the great hall, tripping over a fourth year Hufflepuff in the process.

"Get out of my way, Mudblood," he instantly recognizes her as one of Sirius's many achievements, Teresa Smith. She was one Sirius had conquered a dozen times because she is so gullible.

She stands frozen in place, "If you don't move I'll throw you off the stairs."

She looks over the rail and her eyes widen; she scurries off to wherever mudbloods go in their spare time these days. He makes it to the great hall without further interruption and his eyes instantly land on Pandora, talking to none other than his black haired brother. Reg listens to ther conversation for a while and hears the unmistakable sound of his own name rolling off Sirius's smooth tongue. Reg marches over to the Gryffindor table and pulls on Sirius's arm, "We need to talk."

Sirius follows him out smirking. "What?"

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't interfere with each other's endeavors? You're still on Orchid meaning you can't go after Pandora yet. Stick to the rules bro."

"It's a game, brother. One I was obviously meant to win. But if you want to play it that way, then I will not talk to the lovely Pandora."

"Whatever, just stick to your word and we won't have any issues. You know I have friends in high places brother."

"Fine," Sirius heads back to the Gryffindor table sitting on the other side of Lily Evans, mudblood, and laughing as James Potter tries, and fails, to woo her. Regulus heads to his own table and wolfs down whatever food's in front of him not caring what it is as long as it fills his stomach. He bypasses his friends at the other end of the table and storms of to the boys' dormitory in the Slytherin common room. He grabs his broom from his trunk and heads down the front steps to the quidditch pitch, occupying his mind with thoughts of flying and dreams of Pandora.

While drifting about in a dreamy state, he hears his name called by a sweet, delicate voice that he'd recognize anywhere. Zooming down to the stands he looks around for her, but sees no one. The voice echoes again from closer to the school and Reg heads towards the bell tower, hoping to catch a glimpse of the elusive fantasy plaguing his mind.

"Regulus," it beckons, "freshen up and meet me on the 3rd floor in an hour. I just can't get you out of my mind."

Regulus jumps off his broom stores it away and heads to the prefect bathroom where he can dream in peace. Once in the large room he locks the door, and begins peeling off his clothes after filling the tub sunken into the floor much like a small pool. The entire room is bathed in the sweet smell of maple, the aroma fills his minds and lifts him to thoughts of licking the sweet Pandora, her skin tasting slightly of honey.

He tosses his clothes aside and is drenched in a thick, sticky substance. As he tries to wipe the golden liquid off his skin, hundreds of white feathers float down from the ceiling.

The laughter coming from above tells him exactly how this concoction ended up all over him, "I'll get you Sirius." Before he finishes the sentence, Sirius and Remus Lupin are out the door. Regulus submerges himself in the steaming water and attempts to clean the syrup off his skin but it doesn't cease sticking to him.

"SIRIUS!" he pulls on his clothes and marches out of the bathroom, much to the amusement of the group of third years standing nearby, and heads to the great hall to find his prick of a brother. The feathers coating his skin prohibit him from fully seeing his surroundings and he carefully scans the Gryffindor table for Sirius as the school laughs.

"What did you do to me? I can't get this shit off!"

"Sirius, you didn't…" Lily stands and walks to Regulus's side. "Here I know how to get rid of it."

"Get away from me you filthy mudblood! I don't need help from the likes of you!"

"It seems to me that you do, dear brother."

Regulus storms away not nearly as amused as his dear brother seemed to be, but not for long. Regulus walks up to Orchid Bullstrode and taps her on the shoulder. She nearly bursts out laughing upon turning around, her cheeks turning redder and redder.

"Orchid, you need to know something about Sirius."

"Yes?"

"He has herpes."

"What?" she glances over at the Gryffindor table, "Ew! I just did that… thing in a broom cupboard." She says thing with such disgust that Regulus wonders if it's not just the herpes that disgust her. Now they're tied and Sirius is sure to be after Pandora, Regulus just has to get there first.

He catches Pandora's blue eye as she stares at him across the room, mortified. He motions for her to meet him outside, and walks to the Black Lake. She arrives at his side a few minutes later, "What happened to you?"

"Sirius."

"Oh I'm sorry." She scoots closer to him, her eyes looking directly into his, lips parted slightly. Sirius runs in between them.

"Guess who won the bet, brother!" He swings a pair of black lacy panties in front of his brother's nose, and Orchid jumps up.

"What bet, Regulus?"

"Nothing."

"This doesn't look like nothing." She points to Sirius who's dancing around screaming, "I won! I bed Orchid and Pandora! I got seven first!"

"I was just a bet?" Pandora storms away, crying.

Regulus rounds on his brother, "You did this on purpose! I almost had her!"

"Maybe I did. Pay up brother!"

Regulus puts his hands in his pockets and pulls out twelve galleons, "I can't believe I lost to my awful brother."

**If you have any coments or complaints, just tell me in a review and i will do my best to fix it. Remember I wrote this in an hour so it won't be perfect, but with the aid of constructive criticism we can work to make it rather enjoyable. :)**


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